Inches from Death

So there I was, just trying to break up the afternoon with a quick smoke break. A friend of mine and I were standing in front of our building in downtown Chicago as I puffed away. Just the usual bullshit, nothing too exciting. It had been a rough couple of weeks at work and I was feeling very tense and frustrated. So as I stood there bitching about my week and trying to figure out a way to complete my project, inspiration struck.

The inspiration that struck was a huge chunk of ice the size of a football. It was was a little warmer that day and the snow and ice were melting in the streets and off the buildings. Almost all buildings have those "Caution: Falling Ice" signs out in the sidewalk in front of their buildings. I am assuming this is to limit their liability if anything were to happen. I had always blown those off as nothing. What are the chances that a piece of ice or snow is going to fall off of this building at the exact moment that I am standing in its exact path? I thought the ratios and the probability of something like this was astronomical. I was wrong.

As I stood there taking a hit off of my Camel Wide Light, this huge chunk of ice, decided to kamikaze right off the side of the building. It plummeted through the air and finally struck the Earth, about three inches to the left of my left shoe. I would have to say that if it landed 4 or 5 inches to the right of where it hit, it would have landed straight on the back of my head. People have told me I would have most likely died, others told me that I just would have split my head open really bad. But it didn't hit me at all. To be honest, I didn't even flinch when it did hit. I didn't even move from my spot. I just stood there and took another hit off my cigarette as my friend quickly retreated to the street. In my head, it is one in a million to get hit with a falling piece of ice. But the chances of getting hit after one has already almost called for a quick picture wrap on ole Hitman have to be in the billions. So I stood there, and about 2 minutes later a small, but still rather large, piece of ice hits the sidewalk about 6 inches to the right of me. And even though it now has to be in the trillions for a third piece of ice to fall and hit me, I decided not to tempt fate. I flicked the butt of my smoke into the street and headed for the door.

I was about four steps into my approach to the door when another twist or irony reared its ugly head. Who is that coming through the door, my mind wondered? I know that face. Suddenly my face dropped into a scowl and I just stared trying to contain the millions of things I wanted to say to this person. Who was it? It was Jesse Jackson. A lot of you know my political affiliations and such, but I try to keep them off of this blog. Either way, if I was a Democrat, a Republican, or a Communist, it wouldn't matter. I don't think anyone should have respect for Jesse Jackson. I think that he only shows up in situations where he can promote himself and that is it. My friend had the opportunity to watch me as I restrained myself from saying anything. It wouldn't be appropriate I told myself. It isn't going to change or help anything.

So I held my tongue and didn't say a word. There are so many things I wanted to say.

So for me, I think the moral of the story is that there is only an inch between life and death. So cherish the time that you do have and try and not waste time on people who really don't matter. Because you never know when a huge chunk of ice is going to fall from the sky.