Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Michigan: The Modern Day Bermuda Triangle
Michigan, by far, is becoming the worst state in this country. It is still battling with Ohio to take the title of last place, but Ohio is still putting up a hell of a fight. I can't help but compare the situation to the battle that the Detroit Lions continually face. They are clearly one of the absolute worst teams and front offices that exist in the NFL, but somehow always seem to become dead last. This is a great analogy for the state of Michigan. The businesses within the state have had enough with the people and the front office. What do you mean? You don't enjoy the leadership of Debbie Stabuenthaback, Jennifer Granhomely, and the notorious Hip-Hop Mayor himself, Kwame Kilpatrick.
Obviously, this is leading to a story. Here it is. I decided late last week that I was going to come home for a buddy's birthday. I bought a train ticket from Union Station in Chicago to a couple benches and an awning in Royal Oak Michigan. The train left on time and I got the two seats to myself so I could spread out my shit and got some reading done. But the recently released felon two rows back and across the isle from me decided that it was not going to be a peaceful ride for any of us. For three hours he spoke to himself anf harrassed all those around him. He let everyone know he had just been let out of prison and that he wasn't afraid of "white men because they are to much of cowards to step up and do anything". I put this into english, it was a little harder to piece it together on the train. The people around him would only last a few minutes. Many retreated to other cars or simply moved as far as possible. We also found out that our criminal friend has some sour feelings not only towards our government but also those that serve this country. He repeatedly made comments to the six Naval Officers in our car letting them know that he thought they had made a bad choice. Some of his most memorable comments were as follows: "Go protect your country, I hope you get shot in the face", "You know your gonna die Bobo", "Why are these undercover cops following me?", and "Have anyone ever made you feel like a little boy?". We were all thrilled when he pulled together $4 in change to extend his stay on the train. But sooner or later this fairytale had to end. He kind of went peacefully. He grabbed a guys magazine and shredded it while throwing the remnants in every direction. We pulled into the Battle Creek station and the show was over............for now.
Long story short, a bunch of us took our buddy out on Saturday and got him completely shitfaced.
Sunday, time to head back to Chicago. I caught a ride home from my roommate who still had the shakes from the massive amounts of booze from the night before. Everything was going well other then the fact that we were leaving a little bit later then we had hoped. We stopped at Exit 110 on I-94 for some gas and something to eat and we thought we would have a straight shot home. But as soon he tried to start the car up so we could get back on the road we had some difficulties. The key would spin in the ingnition but would not activate the starter. This had happened before. "Well what did you do last time to fix it?" Tow truck and a mechanic. The problem was that we both had to be to work in about twelve hours and we were three hours from Chicago. Over the next several hours we tried many things. We banged on the steering column, turned the key a couple thousand times and popped it in and out of gear. But after some help from my roommates dad and the attendant at the Truck Stop that we broke down at we got the car running. It involved getting a jump from an Envoy, forgot the mention that the batttery died while working on the car, I was bypassing his security system under the steering column and my roommate was under the car, arching the posts of the solenoid with a screwdriver that he was holding with a sock so that we wouldn't electricute himself.
Michigan is a mystery to me. It took me so long to be able to get out of the bubble. I never believed that I could live outside of that bubble. The state demoralizes you and makes to complacent. But I don't want that for everyone that I know in Michigan. Get out, explore, see other places of the country. The state is still in a pattern of decline and you don't have to stand for it.
My trip shows me that Michigan wanted to teach me a lesson for leaving and on top of that, it wanted to make me stay. Do not underestimate the evil that is contained in Michigan and its political parties.
Obviously, this is leading to a story. Here it is. I decided late last week that I was going to come home for a buddy's birthday. I bought a train ticket from Union Station in Chicago to a couple benches and an awning in Royal Oak Michigan. The train left on time and I got the two seats to myself so I could spread out my shit and got some reading done. But the recently released felon two rows back and across the isle from me decided that it was not going to be a peaceful ride for any of us. For three hours he spoke to himself anf harrassed all those around him. He let everyone know he had just been let out of prison and that he wasn't afraid of "white men because they are to much of cowards to step up and do anything". I put this into english, it was a little harder to piece it together on the train. The people around him would only last a few minutes. Many retreated to other cars or simply moved as far as possible. We also found out that our criminal friend has some sour feelings not only towards our government but also those that serve this country. He repeatedly made comments to the six Naval Officers in our car letting them know that he thought they had made a bad choice. Some of his most memorable comments were as follows: "Go protect your country, I hope you get shot in the face", "You know your gonna die Bobo", "Why are these undercover cops following me?", and "Have anyone ever made you feel like a little boy?". We were all thrilled when he pulled together $4 in change to extend his stay on the train. But sooner or later this fairytale had to end. He kind of went peacefully. He grabbed a guys magazine and shredded it while throwing the remnants in every direction. We pulled into the Battle Creek station and the show was over............for now.
Long story short, a bunch of us took our buddy out on Saturday and got him completely shitfaced.
Sunday, time to head back to Chicago. I caught a ride home from my roommate who still had the shakes from the massive amounts of booze from the night before. Everything was going well other then the fact that we were leaving a little bit later then we had hoped. We stopped at Exit 110 on I-94 for some gas and something to eat and we thought we would have a straight shot home. But as soon he tried to start the car up so we could get back on the road we had some difficulties. The key would spin in the ingnition but would not activate the starter. This had happened before. "Well what did you do last time to fix it?" Tow truck and a mechanic. The problem was that we both had to be to work in about twelve hours and we were three hours from Chicago. Over the next several hours we tried many things. We banged on the steering column, turned the key a couple thousand times and popped it in and out of gear. But after some help from my roommates dad and the attendant at the Truck Stop that we broke down at we got the car running. It involved getting a jump from an Envoy, forgot the mention that the batttery died while working on the car, I was bypassing his security system under the steering column and my roommate was under the car, arching the posts of the solenoid with a screwdriver that he was holding with a sock so that we wouldn't electricute himself.
Michigan is a mystery to me. It took me so long to be able to get out of the bubble. I never believed that I could live outside of that bubble. The state demoralizes you and makes to complacent. But I don't want that for everyone that I know in Michigan. Get out, explore, see other places of the country. The state is still in a pattern of decline and you don't have to stand for it.
My trip shows me that Michigan wanted to teach me a lesson for leaving and on top of that, it wanted to make me stay. Do not underestimate the evil that is contained in Michigan and its political parties.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
A Weekend of Infamy
I was in New York last week to execute the first conference that I produced. It went very well and made a lot of good business contacts through it. I finally got to see some more of New York that is not Time Square.
For anyone that has traveled to the Land of the Fake Purse, you'll understand where I am going. The first time I went to NY there wasn't a lot of time for fun. My flights in and out were very close to the conference times so I didn't get see much. But this time I had some spare minutes so use and I wanted to see some more of the city. I couldn't even make my way through Time Square, which by the way is not much more then a huge intersection and a ton of billboards, because of the insane amount of tourists walking around and suddenly stopping in front of you to get that perfect picture of the guy selling hot dogs and the want-to-be rappers peddling there latest cd.
I met up with a friend of mine that lives out there that used to intern with me back when I worked at 1270 XYT. She took me to the downtown area and the next day we checked out Astoria in Queens. It was a much better time.
The funniest part of the weekend happened when I got back to Chicago. After a 3 hour delay at La Guardia I finally got back to O'Hare and headed to my apartment. A couple good friends of mine had come into town for the weekend and we all went out.
The incident occurred when one of my buddies, we'll call him Timmy, had to piss and couldn't wait. So I started walking over to the L station with him so he could run under and take a piss. But literally 15ft before we got there, he had had enough. He busted into a bar that was on the way and said that if he had to pay cover, it didn't matter because it was life or death. I stood outside for about a minute and a half before I realized it was a Gay bar. While I stood outside pondering what could be happening with him inside, this is what happened. He paid $7 to get in and immediately spotted two guys on the stage making out. He didn't think much of it. He asked a guy if he knew where the mens room was and the guy asked him if he needed any help. Still not registering? When he got to the bathroom the guy standing next to him started talking to him and as he walked away after finishing his business he started smacking Timmy on the ass with chains that he had around his waist. And this is the point where Timmy finally figured it out. He came barrelling out of the bar pissed off and not knowing what to do with himself.
To make matters worse a guy walked up to us (there were 4 of us on the corner, all guys) and asked for a cigarette. A friend of a friend asked him why he doesn't just suck on the cigar that he has on his ear. Insert string of comments here, "I won't suck on that but I'll suck on something else", "my trick jaw works wonders", and "are you guys just standing on this corner randowmly or were you in Berlin (the gay bar)". Timmy lost it. So that we don't have conflicting reports or possible hate crimes, I will not mention the things that were said by Tim. The incident ended with the guy apologizing and Timmy telling him to go the fuck home and storming off.
Of course, I was blaimed for the incidence. But as a straight man, how in the hell am I supposed to know where the gay bars are? I plead ignorance on this one.
It was an interesting weekend. And while the weekend is over the stories will live on forever.
For anyone that has traveled to the Land of the Fake Purse, you'll understand where I am going. The first time I went to NY there wasn't a lot of time for fun. My flights in and out were very close to the conference times so I didn't get see much. But this time I had some spare minutes so use and I wanted to see some more of the city. I couldn't even make my way through Time Square, which by the way is not much more then a huge intersection and a ton of billboards, because of the insane amount of tourists walking around and suddenly stopping in front of you to get that perfect picture of the guy selling hot dogs and the want-to-be rappers peddling there latest cd.
I met up with a friend of mine that lives out there that used to intern with me back when I worked at 1270 XYT. She took me to the downtown area and the next day we checked out Astoria in Queens. It was a much better time.
The funniest part of the weekend happened when I got back to Chicago. After a 3 hour delay at La Guardia I finally got back to O'Hare and headed to my apartment. A couple good friends of mine had come into town for the weekend and we all went out.
The incident occurred when one of my buddies, we'll call him Timmy, had to piss and couldn't wait. So I started walking over to the L station with him so he could run under and take a piss. But literally 15ft before we got there, he had had enough. He busted into a bar that was on the way and said that if he had to pay cover, it didn't matter because it was life or death. I stood outside for about a minute and a half before I realized it was a Gay bar. While I stood outside pondering what could be happening with him inside, this is what happened. He paid $7 to get in and immediately spotted two guys on the stage making out. He didn't think much of it. He asked a guy if he knew where the mens room was and the guy asked him if he needed any help. Still not registering? When he got to the bathroom the guy standing next to him started talking to him and as he walked away after finishing his business he started smacking Timmy on the ass with chains that he had around his waist. And this is the point where Timmy finally figured it out. He came barrelling out of the bar pissed off and not knowing what to do with himself.
To make matters worse a guy walked up to us (there were 4 of us on the corner, all guys) and asked for a cigarette. A friend of a friend asked him why he doesn't just suck on the cigar that he has on his ear. Insert string of comments here, "I won't suck on that but I'll suck on something else", "my trick jaw works wonders", and "are you guys just standing on this corner randowmly or were you in Berlin (the gay bar)". Timmy lost it. So that we don't have conflicting reports or possible hate crimes, I will not mention the things that were said by Tim. The incident ended with the guy apologizing and Timmy telling him to go the fuck home and storming off.
Of course, I was blaimed for the incidence. But as a straight man, how in the hell am I supposed to know where the gay bars are? I plead ignorance on this one.
It was an interesting weekend. And while the weekend is over the stories will live on forever.
Welcome to my Blog
A couple of friends of mine have started blogs on here and seem to have a lot of fun with it. It is interesting to me to read the random shit that happens in other people's lives and their friend's lives. These are the kinds of things that I plan on sharing as well. Since I moved to Chicago, I have had a lot of random stuff happen in my personal life and in my business life. There will be many instances that I flashback to tell a great story that needs to be shared.
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