A Weekend of Infamy

I was in New York last week to execute the first conference that I produced. It went very well and made a lot of good business contacts through it. I finally got to see some more of New York that is not Time Square.

For anyone that has traveled to the Land of the Fake Purse, you'll understand where I am going. The first time I went to NY there wasn't a lot of time for fun. My flights in and out were very close to the conference times so I didn't get see much. But this time I had some spare minutes so use and I wanted to see some more of the city. I couldn't even make my way through Time Square, which by the way is not much more then a huge intersection and a ton of billboards, because of the insane amount of tourists walking around and suddenly stopping in front of you to get that perfect picture of the guy selling hot dogs and the want-to-be rappers peddling there latest cd.

I met up with a friend of mine that lives out there that used to intern with me back when I worked at 1270 XYT. She took me to the downtown area and the next day we checked out Astoria in Queens. It was a much better time.

The funniest part of the weekend happened when I got back to Chicago. After a 3 hour delay at La Guardia I finally got back to O'Hare and headed to my apartment. A couple good friends of mine had come into town for the weekend and we all went out.

The incident occurred when one of my buddies, we'll call him Timmy, had to piss and couldn't wait. So I started walking over to the L station with him so he could run under and take a piss. But literally 15ft before we got there, he had had enough. He busted into a bar that was on the way and said that if he had to pay cover, it didn't matter because it was life or death. I stood outside for about a minute and a half before I realized it was a Gay bar. While I stood outside pondering what could be happening with him inside, this is what happened. He paid $7 to get in and immediately spotted two guys on the stage making out. He didn't think much of it. He asked a guy if he knew where the mens room was and the guy asked him if he needed any help. Still not registering? When he got to the bathroom the guy standing next to him started talking to him and as he walked away after finishing his business he started smacking Timmy on the ass with chains that he had around his waist. And this is the point where Timmy finally figured it out. He came barrelling out of the bar pissed off and not knowing what to do with himself.

To make matters worse a guy walked up to us (there were 4 of us on the corner, all guys) and asked for a cigarette. A friend of a friend asked him why he doesn't just suck on the cigar that he has on his ear. Insert string of comments here, "I won't suck on that but I'll suck on something else", "my trick jaw works wonders", and "are you guys just standing on this corner randowmly or were you in Berlin (the gay bar)". Timmy lost it. So that we don't have conflicting reports or possible hate crimes, I will not mention the things that were said by Tim. The incident ended with the guy apologizing and Timmy telling him to go the fuck home and storming off.

Of course, I was blaimed for the incidence. But as a straight man, how in the hell am I supposed to know where the gay bars are? I plead ignorance on this one.

It was an interesting weekend. And while the weekend is over the stories will live on forever.