Writing Under The Influence

First off I would like to thank the creator of spell check. Its not that I wouldn't be able to write this post without it. Its just that it made it possible for me not to look like an uneducated idiot. I also should mention that I have had a few of beers and quite a bit of tequila, whiskey and John Daniels. So needless to say I am three sheets to the wind. I don't actually like that analogy. I am feeling no pain. Another loss of intelligible wit. How about just plain being honest? I am a little bit drunk.

But lets get to the meaning of this post in the first place. I am writing this because I have been a complete ass and have not been updating this thing as I had previously stated that I would. So once again, I am going to update everyone on my current life and mental state. I am actually doing alright I guess. I am currently looking for a new job and have some things on the burner that may come together soon. I am ready to start something fresh and new.

The only major thing in my life that is currently bugging me is that I am at my wits end with stupid drunk short guys that feel the need to express their Napoleon syndrome in my direction. I have to say that I am not the worlds smallest man. I am not huge by any means, but I am not small. So for some reason, these ridiculous douche bags that you find at every Chicago bar think it is appropriate to get in my face for no reason to prove their manhood. I have been very good about taking a deep breathe and counting to ten. I have not flipped out and done something that could put my ass in jail. But I am close to being willing to take that place in a cell. I am done with douche bags that feel the need to still be that frat guy that you see with the popped collar ordering nothing but jager bombs for his friends and trying to slip a rufee into the nearest girls drink.

A couple weeks ago, it was a guy at a Michigan vs Michigan State football party. Sorry to spoil it for you, but Michigan lost, and I was quite happy about it. Next thing I know, my brother is outside having some words with some guy because hs was talking shit about me when I wasn't even around. Yeah, that makes sense. Don't come up and say something to my face. I can't imagine talking shit to a bunch of people you don't know just to realize that you are talking shit about a guy that everyone at the party has known for years. This is not a good idea. I think that is pretty self explanatory. So I get pulled a way from a beer pong game to this 5 foot 2 douche that has been talking shit. Because he wants to apologize. Then as now, I had a few drinks in me. he rambled on as a couple of his friends tried to talk me down. But my mind kept telling me, don't do it. Do not hit this guy. You are at your brothers house and that's the last place that you want to start shit. And to be honest withing being cocky about it. He was a little guy with about three friends with him. I on the other hand am not small, as previously mentioned, and had probably about 12 guys that had my back. So I told him that he needed to watch his mouth when he was around people he didn't know and that if he was any kind of man that he would talk shit to somebodys face instead of behind their back. That's a typical U of M fan for you.

The next incident, Or Strike 2 as I will refer to it, needs to have a disclaimer attached to it. I in no way, shape, or form have a problem with people who are different then me. In this case, this person just so happened to be a "little person". I think that is the politically correct way of saying it. I was sitting at a table at the bar with some friends. And the "little person" was quite cocky and came up to the table and started talking to the girls at our table while leaning on me. He started making comments about how they needed to hang out with him and his friends because they were more physically fit, as he started to rub my stomach. This is one of those situations that I took a deep breathe and counted. I got myself to calm down and he walked back to his group. he did return that night one more time and talked just as much shit. But I was torn. I really wanted to just swing and end the whole thing there. But that could have been larger complications then I originally thought. I am serious that he was only like two and a half feet tall. I couldn't do it. Upon further thought after the incident I decided I definitely should have stood out and cracked one of his friends square in the jaw and pointed at him letting him know that it was his fault. Now that would have been great.

So as you read these stories, please feel free to look back through the other shit that has happened in the last year. I seem to attract crazy people and idiots. Kind of like tonight when we were all at dinner at some Thai place and a homeless guy walked right up to our table when we got our food and started asking us for money. I have to say that I am not totally against helping a homeless guy out. But that's definitely not the way to convince me. So I called him down to my end of the table, gave him a smoke and let him know it was time to go. Just before the manager came over and asked him to leave. I attract stupid shit. So this is my main message, I am down with stupid people. There are currently two strikes in the last month and I honestly don't know if I am going to restrain myself for that third strike. I am going to be ready to live up to the consequences. I may get my ass kicked, I may spend the night in the drunk tank. But I will have a wide ass smile across my face the whole time. I will finally be able to let all of that shit out.

I know I have said it before, but I am going to try and write more. I sincerely miss just being able to put this stuff out here. And if anyone has any anger management advice or places that I should stay away from so I don't run into a pack of frat guys with complexes, let me know.

Cheers