Southside Shenanigans

So as many Chicago residents know, the Southside Irish Parade takes place a week before the downtown St Patricks Day festivities. The Southside Parade is pretty much just another reason to get drunk on a Sunday. The problem with the parade is that it runs down Western and there is no good way to get there other then the METRA, which really isn't that convenient anyways. So this was our journey to the Southside.

I was up and in the shower that Sunday morning at 5:45 am. By 6:15 I was dressed, had a beer in my hand and had already had my first smoke of the day. Some more beers and 4 Irish Car Bombs later, we were heading out the door to make it to the METRA so we could get down to the southside. Heading down the sidewalk, we were pretty prepared for the day. There were four of us and we were armed with 5 flasks. The different booze of choice were Jose, Jamison, Captain Morgan Private Reserve, two filled with Jack Daniels. Not to mention a camelback filled with Irish coffee. We finally caught a cab after about 20 minutes and headed to the train station. Wouldn't you know our luck. We got to the train station about 3 minutes after the train had left and there wouldn't be another one for an hour. So we decided to cut our loses and head to the red line. But first a bathroom stop. Of course, being a man, I am waiting for the ladies to come out of the restroom so we can get going. Suddenly, the two of them burst out carrying a long gift bag and heading for the door. Little did I know that they had just found a $40 bottle of champagne in the bathroom and had decided that it would be best to come with us.

So on our red line trip, we passed the flasks and starting building up our already apparent buzzes. A quick cab ride and we are there, Southside Parade. But we had a few hours to kill so we walked around and drained the camelback. Then someone got the bright idea to pour the champagne into the camelback. But the problem is that the tube that you drink out of was now mixed with Irish coffee and champagne, someone was going to have the clear it. So being the team player that I am, I volunteered. This was not one of my greatest decisions. It was the weirdest taste I have ever experienced. I could taste baileys, whiskey, coffee, champagne and cigarette smoke. It was very interesting and I don't think I will be doing that again any time soon.

We waited in line for the bar for about an hour or so which was pretty uneventful. It was pretty much standing around smoking and drinking. But it was fun to watch the cops harassing everyone. Once we got into the bar is was pretty much par for the course. The place was packed. But we took over the music and played Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, Bullet for my Valentine and Dropkick Murphys. It was a good time, but it just wasn't over the top.

We left the bar and decided to check out some other places. But a friend of mine and I had to use the restroom a.k.a. the horrid porta johns around the parade route. So we waited in line for about a half hour, but to be honest it was probably the best part of the day. We stood there with complete strangers having a great time. Talking about setting pace times and reasoning with them that it was not a good idea for me to piss in the alley next to the porta potty and get my name on the sex offenders list for indecent exposure. We took pictures with them and pretty much got everyone else around us excited to go to the bathroom. It was a good time.

But When we met back up with our friends, we realized one of them was a little too drunk so we were going to head home. We walked over the the METRA stop and realized that the next train wasn't coming for another hour and a half. So we decided to catch a cab to the red line just like before and head home. So we started walking. Little did we know that there are no cabs on the southside. So we ended up walking about 3 and a half miles to the red line through a lot of neighborhoods that reminded me of Detroit. I don't mean that as an insult it is just the truth. After that nice long stroll, we finally got the train.

Once on the train, our very very drunk friend let us know that she was going to the "dark side", which means that she is going to pass out and pretty much be belligerent. What would you do in this situation? We decided to start giving her shots of tequila. And it worked, she was back with us in no time. So we started joking about getting her a Jose Cuervo IV so that she would always be a good little drunk. A guy sitting by us loved the idea and started chiming in comments about the tequila IV. We always seem to make friends where ever we go.

So after a long train ride and a short bus ride, I was sitting in my leather recliner ready to pass out. It was only 4:30 in the afternoon surprisingly. But it was a great nap. I slept in that ultra comfortable chair until 10 pm and then went and passed out in my bed until morning. Apparently it had been a long day.

But I fell asleep thinking of walking down the street talking with my fellow wanderers when we decided that we are going to take next year off. Two years in a row is enough for now.