The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

On a rainy day in Chicago there are only so many things that you can look forward to; the smell of the rain, the drop in humidity, watching little kids piss there parents off by jumping in the puddles, and women wearing white. The most important being those women who chose to wear white that day. But sometimes thia can go well and other times it can go horribly wrong. Here are three examples that I encountered yesterday during the storms we recieved in Chicago.

The Good: I was walking the the Grand Red Line Station and there was a young lady walking in front of me that he woken up that morning and decided to wear a white sundress to work. Bad luck for her, but good luck for me, she had forgotten her umbrella. She was a very attractive girl and it was quite a site to see. An expensive looking white sundress had turned into a transparent napkin. One thing she did have going for her is that she was one of those girls that knows that she is very attractive, therefore it seemed that she did not care that anyone walking by could see everything that is usually hidden. That was a great start for the trip home and the best quarter mile that I have had so far in this city. But I soon to be disappointed.

The Bad: While waiting for my train, an older women walked over by me and was standing by the edge of the platform looking for the lights of the train. To my dismay, she had decided to wear white that morning. I will not go into much detail for the danger of vomiting. But this muffin-top was wearing a white shirt that was now a second skin. She paced around waiting for the train and with each step the site turned more and more ugly. The platform was rather busy seeing that it was 6:00 pm in Downtown Chicago. But somehow, this women stood alone with her own personal bubble space of over 10 feet because no one wanted to get close to her. It was a disturbing experience, but I thought that it was to balance out the attractive girl i had seen earlier. Right there I thought that I had a good, but not great, blog post. I didn't know it would get worse.

The Ugly: "Next stop Fullerton, doors open on the left at Fullerton". I step off of the over-crowded train relieved that "muffin-top" was no where in sight. I proceeded to the stairs down to the street and was confronted by "The Ugly". There she was in a skirt and a white t-shirt. She had apparently been standing in the rain for a while and her shirt was completely soaked through and transparent. Let's just say that she was a little more girthy then average. Standing by the top of the stairs, she waited for her train. Sometimes people can get a little hungry while waiting. She had decided to stop and get a huge as cheeseburger from one of the restaurants near the stop. So imagine my horror. She was standing there damn near topless, stuffing a cheeseburger into her face. Ketchup and mustard spackled to her face and not a chance that she could catch a breath in between bites. That's when I knew I had to write this post.

There were no more sightings in the rest of my adventure home. But those three had been much more then I had ever needed.

So just remember, the next rainy day that you encounter may come with The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

**DISCLAIMER - I wanted to state this to nullify any backlash from this post. I know that I am not the most visually stimulating man on this planet. But there is a reason I wasn't walking around in the rain in a white t-shirt and white shorts molesting a cheeseburger.**